Meet the Riddles

I do not claim to have written this entry. It was written by relatives of mine who shall remain unidentified, however, they did a phenomenal job of pointing out the foibles of the couple pictured on the right.

QUIZ: Are you prepared to meet the Riddles?

1. Your political convictions can best be described as:
A. Conservative
B. Republican
C. Right
D. Ronald Reagan was the greatest President of the last century!

2. A person who doesn't like to camp, hike or backpack is called:
A. a footsacker
B. a hot house plant
C. the unnatural offspring of Dad's first wife
D. Arwen

3. What is not an acceptable dinner time activity?
A. Singing at the table
B. Reading at the table
C. Calling someone "Late for Dinner"
D. All of the above

4. The Joanie rule is:
A. Applying your spell checker to every email before sending it off
B. Claiming privileges based on birth order
C. Using the phone greeting, "Joanie's Answering Service"
D. Waiting until everyone is in the car and ready to leave before running to the restroom

5. In J.R.R. Tolkien's Silmarillion, the name of the spider that poisoned the Great Trees is:
A. Smaug
B. Morgoth
C. Ungoliant
D. Are you insane? How is this relevant?

6. In one of the Riddles' jam songs, what dead animal is lying in the middle of the road?
A. Armadillo
B. Rattlesnake
C. Mormon Cricket(s)
D. Duck (you can take this one home!)

7. When cornered by one of the pilots in the family, do you:
A. Smile, nod and set your mind for screen saver
B. Claim you forgot something in the car
C. Shout "Fire" and escape in the confusion
D. Pretend to faint

8. Acceptable road trip activities include:
A. Getting lost and refusing to admit it
B. Sing until we run out of song ideas (This hasn't happened yet, but you never know) or our throats hurt (This has happened)
C. Enjoying the loving sweet-tempered company of your eternal family after nine hours in a car without air conditioning, driving across the American Midwest in the middle of July, listening to the dulcet tones of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Michael Savage.
D. Stopping to hike, swim, find a hot spring, have everyone leave until Mom calms down and lets us back into the car.

9. What is not a Riddle family tradition?
A. Green Eggs and Ham on Christmas morning
B. Giving up milk for Lent
C. Homemade doughnuts on Conference weekends
D. Witches' fingers for Halloween

10. Who is Step and Fetch It?
A. Anyone but Dad, depending on circumstances
B. Anyone who is younger, smaller and/or of lesser authority than the requester
C. Kate. She is the youngest, after all.
D. All of the above.

11. Who is the most stubborn member of the Riddle family?
A. Depends on the situation
B. Mom, she has a genetic predisposition towards it
C. Depends on who you ask and whom they they are angry with
D. Dad, he is the oldest and has had the most practice
E. Other--Come up with your own answer

12. Whose year is it to sleep in the bunk bed in the Big Cabin?
A. Joanie
B. Elise
C. Arwen
D. Maybe they all should... to avoid court intervention. Do you remember 2002?




14. What do you get if you mate Zippy with a Forerunner?
A. I think that's illegal
B. Ziprunner
C. Foreruppy
D. Joanie's dream car


15. While on a forced march (euphemistically referred to as a hike), you come across a Centaurea solstitialis . Which of the following actions would be appropriate?
A. Carefully clip the premature buds with the clippers you had the foresight to bring with you on said forced march
B. Collect the seeds to sell or to spread on future forced marches
C. Quickly memorize its location, name, and characteristics (You have to pass a quiz to be freed from forced marches, of course)
D. Dig it up, bring it home and plant it so you can share it with all your friends and family