What if finding your spouse was like finding a job? You would spend hours searching the internet
to see who was in the market for a new husband or wife. Then you would apply with your resume and you
would try to write a snappy cover letter that would catch the interest of your
prospective mate. I can cook eighteen
different lowfat meals. Or I taught
twenty young men how to kayak. Or
perhaps you would be the interviewee and be looking through hundreds of
applicants who really wanted to be your new partner. You would be rejected hundreds of times before you got the interview.
Finally the day arrives when you are one of the top
three choices. Your prospective spouse
gives you a call to set up an interview.
They decide to have a hiring committee including his parents, best
friends, and siblings. You dress in your
best funeral attire and come in for the interview, making sure you are not late.
You are introduced to all of the friends and family and feel
very intimidated as all eyes bear down upon you. You start to sweat: “Is there broccoli in my teeth? Did I wear brown shoes with black socks?”
“So,” your prospective mate states, “tell me a little bit
about yourself.”
Should I say that I think his eyes are dreamy? Should I tell her that I sleep with the
window open even in the winter? Maybe I
should give a thirty second power statement:
I enjoy working with children of
all ages. My experiences in college have
taught me that relationships need to be nurtured. I love to cook and put safety first in the
kitchen. In my last relationship I
increased the number of times we went on a date we both enjoyed by 1/3.
Then they ask the tough questions. From the mother-in-law to be: “Do you wash the whites with the darks?” From your prospective: “Tell me about a time you had a disagreement
with your former girl/boyfriend and how you handled it.” Finally the 30 minute ordeal is over. You shake hands with everyone and they say
they will contact you within a few days.
You look one more time at your prospective spouse and think, “Do I
really want to spend the rest of my life with this person? I hardly know them.”
You spend the weekend agonizing. The answers I gave were so trite. I forgot to tell her how I ran fourteen marathons. Five days later the phone rings. “I’d like to offer you the position as my
spouse,” says the voice at the other end of the line. You are excited and nervous, but mostly
excited at the new opportunity. Who
would choose their spouse this way? It’s
crazy. Is it crazy that we choose our
employment this way? Most of us spend
more time at our job than we do with our spouse.
